1 00:00:02,503 --> 00:00:04,505 I know I've been talking about Bobby all morning, 2 00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:07,108 but another thing I love about Bobby is, 3 00:00:07,141 --> 00:00:09,043 he just gets me. 4 00:00:09,077 --> 00:00:11,745 Can he come get you right now? 5 00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:15,249 Last night, I gave Bobby a little neck action. 6 00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:18,486 Neck action? Oh, racy! 7 00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,221 What's next, you gonna lift up your skirt 8 00:00:20,254 --> 00:00:21,522 and show him your knees? 9 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:24,458 Maybe. 10 00:00:24,492 --> 00:00:26,260 Hey, Caroline, wait up! 11 00:00:26,294 --> 00:00:27,428 Hide me, Max. 12 00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:28,796 Bobby hasn't seen me 13 00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:31,165 in my waitress uniform, or my right profile. 14 00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:32,533 It hasn't been easy. 15 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:33,634 What is wrong with our uniform? 16 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:35,303 I call her Carrie 17 00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:37,105 'cause she's got a little pig's blood on her 18 00:00:37,138 --> 00:00:40,241 and she can't be destroyed by fire. 19 00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:41,575 Morning, beautiful. 20 00:00:41,609 --> 00:00:42,843 I got you a macchiato. 21 00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,378 And a supportive round of applause 22 00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:45,713 when I told them the name was Caroline. 23 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:49,117 Bobby, you are so sweet. 24 00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:51,419 This has skim milk, right? 25 00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:53,254 Oh, whatever! 26 00:00:53,287 --> 00:00:55,823 Uh, why are you using Max as a human shield? 27 00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:58,126 Oh, don't worry. I'm used to it. 28 00:00:58,159 --> 00:01:00,728 It's how my mom robbed all those Carvels in the '90s. 29 00:01:02,230 --> 00:01:03,231 I should get going. 30 00:01:03,264 --> 00:01:05,733 So...group hug? 31 00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:07,135 I'm still trying to figure out 32 00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:08,469 where to take you on our third date. 33 00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:10,371 I want it to be special. 34 00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,240 Also, I'm either caught on Max's button 35 00:01:12,273 --> 00:01:13,641 or she has a tiny, round penis. 36 00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:19,647 Might want to get that jacket tested. 37 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:20,681 I'll see ya. 38 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,120 Third date? 39 00:01:26,154 --> 00:01:28,589 You know what that means, don't you? 40 00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:30,324 Going by my last third date, 41 00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:31,459 he comes out of the closet, 42 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,561 and we still date for two years. 43 00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:35,129 No! 44 00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:38,266 It means more neck action, just lower. 45 00:01:38,299 --> 00:01:41,202 Your between-legs neck. 46 00:01:41,235 --> 00:01:42,536 You're an adult, Max. 47 00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:45,306 It's called a noony-noo. 48 00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:48,142 And I thought sex was on the tenth date, 49 00:01:48,176 --> 00:01:51,145 after he accidentally says, "I love you." 50 00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:53,614 Everybody knows the third date means sex. 51 00:01:53,647 --> 00:01:55,816 And the fourth date means he gets oddly distant 52 00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:58,419 and crazy busy at work. 53 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,488 Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 54 00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:07,495 Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh 55 00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,733 Hey, Earl, how's it hanging? 56 00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:16,170 Lower than anyone will tell you, Max. 57 00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:19,540 I thought a snake followed me into the bathroom this morning. 58 00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:21,942 What's up with you girls? 59 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:24,912 Oh, Caroline is going on a third date. 60 00:02:24,945 --> 00:02:28,882 Oh, some between-legs neck action is on. 61 00:02:28,916 --> 00:02:31,519 I am really not familiar with this phrase. 62 00:02:31,552 --> 00:02:34,355 And I'm pretty sure this whole "third date sex" rule 63 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:35,689 isn't really a thing. 64 00:02:35,723 --> 00:02:38,692 Waiting until the third date for sex? 65 00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:41,295 What are you, a nun? 66 00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:43,864 Hey, everybody! 67 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,968 Oh, all right. 68 00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:51,705 Don't talk to Baby Barbara. We're in a fight. 69 00:02:51,739 --> 00:02:53,641 She thought that the Fifty Shades book 70 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,909 was better than the movie. 71 00:02:57,811 --> 00:02:59,813 Sophie, have you ever heard that you're supposed to 72 00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,882 have sex on the third date? 73 00:03:01,915 --> 00:03:05,253 Oh, that's a nun thing, right? 74 00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:06,987 I am so glad I don't have to deal with 75 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,389 this kind of stuff anymore. 76 00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:11,292 I am officially retired from sex. 77 00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:13,394 Not sure how many of you have heard the news, 78 00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:15,929 but not sure how many of you read "Juggs." 79 00:03:15,963 --> 00:03:17,965 It got too political. 80 00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:20,434 That's why I turned to "Cans." 81 00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,304 Max, what are you talking about? 82 00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:24,838 You can't retire from sex. 83 00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:26,840 It's your thing, like Cheetos 84 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:30,344 or zeroing in on people's vulnerabilities. 85 00:03:30,378 --> 00:03:33,747 What? Sorry, I was distracted by your nose pimple. 86 00:03:33,781 --> 00:03:36,417 I just feel like I need to get out of the game. 87 00:03:36,450 --> 00:03:38,286 I had a good run, just ask 88 00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:40,454 literally anybody. 89 00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:42,456 But now it's your turn. 90 00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:44,458 Well, when one pair of legs closes, 91 00:03:44,492 --> 00:03:47,328 another one opens. 92 00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:51,332 Yeah, that's what Polish Oprah says. 93 00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:54,502 And you get hanged if you disagree with her. 94 00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:55,636 Yep. 95 00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,738 Max, it doesn't take a genius-- 96 00:03:57,771 --> 00:04:00,874 although my Facebook IQ test says I qualify as one-- 97 00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:03,311 to know that this whole retirement thing 98 00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:04,678 is about your breakup with Randy. 99 00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:08,716 It also said you had 362 friends. 100 00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:12,052 And we all know you barely have one. 101 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:15,055 This has nothing to do with Randy. 102 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,525 My sex throne is yours now. 103 00:04:17,558 --> 00:04:20,828 I would maybe put a towel down. 104 00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:22,430 Max, you can't get out of the game 105 00:04:22,463 --> 00:04:24,298 just when I'm getting back in. 106 00:04:24,332 --> 00:04:28,001 I wanted us to have sex together. 107 00:04:28,035 --> 00:04:30,938 Well, clear up that nose zit, and we'll talk. 108 00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:35,008 Speaking of nose zits. 109 00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:37,845 Han, Max is about to give up sex. 110 00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:40,548 Tell her how bad life is without it. 111 00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,383 It's actually quite rich. 112 00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:44,552 I was just saying to Mossimo down at the boccie court-- 113 00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:46,720 Thank you! I rest my case. 114 00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:49,056 And tomorrow I'm taking golf lessons 115 00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,758 thanks to our community board. 116 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,793 Apparently, I don't meet the weight minimum 117 00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:55,095 for Krav Maga. 118 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,598 You know what? I'll go with you. 119 00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,600 Retired people love golf. 120 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,869 Just like you lesbians. 121 00:05:01,902 --> 00:05:03,737 Welcome to the club. 122 00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:06,740 Oh, look, we just made a golf pun. 123 00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:09,009 This is gonna be fun! 124 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,381 I hope to God you know what you're doing. 125 00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:18,352 If I am gonna have sex with Bobby, I need new underwear. 126 00:05:18,386 --> 00:05:21,889 My current pair has more holes than the plot of Arrival. 127 00:05:21,922 --> 00:05:23,624 So you came here? 128 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:25,826 There's no lube aisle. 129 00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:28,028 None of the mannequins are doing each other. 130 00:05:28,061 --> 00:05:30,130 This is a classy lingerie store, 131 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,866 not Second-Hand Hose. 132 00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,502 I got kicked out of there. 133 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:35,836 I ate a pair of edible underwear 134 00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:39,373 and I put the box back on the shelf. 135 00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:42,410 Ladies, I'm Rita. Welcome to the Art of Seduction, 136 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:43,477 where seduction begins with-- 137 00:05:43,511 --> 00:05:44,812 A shot of tequila 138 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:46,914 and ends with a shot of penicillin? 139 00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:48,782 Not what I was going to say at all. 140 00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:50,384 What can I help you ladies with? 141 00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:53,521 Uh, she has a third date situation happening. 142 00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:57,558 Do you have anything that says "Grand Reopening"? 143 00:05:57,591 --> 00:05:58,726 I want to be naughty. 144 00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,828 But I get cold. 145 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:04,565 I found your shoelace section, but where is the underwear? 146 00:06:04,598 --> 00:06:06,166 That is underwear, 147 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,502 and you're holding it backwards. 148 00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:13,173 Oh, sure, I see it now. 149 00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:15,476 Let's go to Target. 150 00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:17,044 And, uh, what about you? 151 00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:18,111 Any third dates coming up? 152 00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:19,647 Actually, no. 153 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,483 I am retired, sexually. 154 00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:26,454 Took the sock off the door and now I'm wearing it. 155 00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:28,622 Come on, Max, we both know you're not 156 00:06:28,656 --> 00:06:29,757 really retired from sex. 157 00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:33,794 We are two young, sexual beings. 158 00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:36,096 Where are you supposed to wear this? 159 00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:41,168 That's a purse. 160 00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:44,071 Uh, if I'm not retired, 161 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:46,440 then why did Larry Flynt send me a gold watch, 162 00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:49,777 thanking me for my 20 years of cervix. 163 00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:52,045 How about this teddy? 164 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,081 I just need simple underwear. 165 00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:56,950 I was a nice presentation for my noony-noo. 166 00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:58,819 Look, it doesn't matter what you wear. 167 00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,721 With a body like yours, it's not gonna be on long. 168 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,624 Ah, see, Max? She likes my body. 169 00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:07,094 Tastes have changed since I got out of the game. 170 00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,463 And these panties are great to bounce in. 171 00:07:09,497 --> 00:07:11,499 The frills on the back really accentuate the twerk 172 00:07:11,532 --> 00:07:13,567 when you're doing the Swingin' Linda. 173 00:07:17,871 --> 00:07:19,072 Linda 174 00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:22,510 must have a bunch of back problems. 175 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:25,145 Oh, my God. Do I have to do that? 176 00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:27,047 Whatever happened to lying down? 177 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:29,149 That's a guy's job now. 178 00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:31,885 Skanks like us ruined that for you. 179 00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:34,187 She's not wrong, but 180 00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:36,156 I teach a burlesque class around the corner. 181 00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,058 You should come. 182 00:07:38,091 --> 00:07:40,093 It can, uh, really help you get in touch with your body. 183 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,795 Oh, it's okay, I'm already 184 00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:43,230 very in touch with my body. 185 00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:45,933 Oh, yeah. She's real in touch. 186 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,636 This one's keeping Duracell in business. 187 00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,241 Max, I wish you had gotten something at the lingerie store. 188 00:07:54,274 --> 00:07:58,245 That saddle looked really good under you. 189 00:07:58,278 --> 00:07:59,680 Most things do. 190 00:07:59,713 --> 00:08:01,248 Did! I'm retired! 191 00:08:01,281 --> 00:08:04,885 We both know your retirement isn't gonna last. 192 00:08:04,918 --> 00:08:06,587 You're like The Rolling Stones, 193 00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,756 but with more of your own blood. 194 00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:10,991 Oh... 195 00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,259 really? 196 00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:18,599 Do I look like someone who will 197 00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:20,868 ever have sex again? 198 00:08:23,904 --> 00:08:25,806 Clothes jinx! 199 00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:32,112 It's like looking in a funhouse mirror. 200 00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:34,848 Without the fun. 201 00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:38,151 I just came by to say our tee time is tomorrow at 1:00. 202 00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,153 We're in a foursome with Mitch and Bill. 203 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:43,657 Whatever you do, don't mention the Gulf War in front of Mitch. 204 00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:47,628 Even when you say "golf," really hit the O. 205 00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:49,797 Max, come on, don't you want to unretire 206 00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:51,765 and have a real foursome again? 207 00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:53,634 Like you used to, on my bed, 208 00:08:53,667 --> 00:08:55,035 while I'm trying to read? 209 00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,170 I like this sexless existence. 210 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:59,106 I don't know what you've been complaining about. 211 00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:01,709 And besides, I can finally let myself go, 212 00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,677 hygenital-ly. 213 00:09:03,711 --> 00:09:05,646 So because you got hurt by Randy, 214 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:06,980 you're never gonna have sex again? 215 00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:09,216 No, I'm never having sex again 216 00:09:09,249 --> 00:09:11,919 because I have no idea how to take off these pants. 217 00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:16,724 -Hey. -Whoa--Bobby! 218 00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:19,126 What are you doing here? 219 00:09:19,159 --> 00:09:21,995 I couldn't wait till tomorrow night to see you. 220 00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:24,031 I got this from a gay wedding; they were throwing them out 221 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:26,634 'cause they were the wrong shade of red. 222 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:29,703 My God, this is just like The Bachelor. 223 00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:32,339 Except I'm not getting HPV from a lagoon. 224 00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:36,176 Hey, don't worry, Max. I didn't forget you. 225 00:09:36,209 --> 00:09:38,111 My scratch-offs! 226 00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:40,247 The grooms were throwing those out instead of rice. 227 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:44,752 Well, that's going on my Pinterest. 228 00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:48,188 So tomorrow night's our big third date. 229 00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:50,758 That's what people keep telling me. 230 00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,860 I've got something real special planned. 231 00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,161 It's exotic. 232 00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:55,863 I think you'll be very impressed. 233 00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:58,799 Oh, I'm sure I will be, 234 00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:00,834 but it takes me a little while, 235 00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:04,104 and I'm quiet when I am. 236 00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:05,806 Hey, don't worry. 237 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:08,642 I'll do all the work. 238 00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:11,178 Well, I'll pitch in a little. 239 00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:12,880 It's gonna be big. 240 00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,984 See you tomorrow night. 241 00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:24,091 Big and exotic? What is it, a parrot? 242 00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:27,394 If it's a cockatiel, then I'm back in the game. 243 00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:30,163 At least I have that really sexy underwear. 244 00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:34,401 Hey, girls. I heard the word "underwear." 245 00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:36,369 Hey. 246 00:10:36,403 --> 00:10:39,206 Some old lady left her panties back here. 247 00:10:39,239 --> 00:10:42,109 Oleg, those aren't old lady panties, 248 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:44,011 they're mine. 249 00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:46,980 Are you bringing them to an old lady? 250 00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:51,118 Perhaps this gentleman's wife? 251 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,086 Oleg, these are sexy. 252 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:55,055 What makes you a panty expert? 253 00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:57,324 Besides my official license plate 254 00:10:57,357 --> 00:10:58,959 from the state of arousal 255 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:03,396 and my degree from Idu U? 256 00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:05,365 Nothing. 257 00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:09,002 I have to go to that burlesque class. 258 00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:10,237 I don't know, you should see if 259 00:11:10,270 --> 00:11:12,840 they have night classes at Idu U. 260 00:11:15,142 --> 00:11:18,011 How are you gonna dance in those golf clothes? 261 00:11:18,045 --> 00:11:19,146 How are you gonna dance 262 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:21,148 looking like a slutty poodle? 263 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,250 Let's just pick out our props. 264 00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:25,853 I've been sanitizing for this all morning. 265 00:11:25,886 --> 00:11:28,956 I was once dropped into a lake in a trunk just like this. 266 00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:32,125 Those dock goons did not expect to see this gal again. 267 00:11:32,159 --> 00:11:34,962 Ooh, feather boa! 268 00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:36,429 I haven't worn something with feathers 269 00:11:36,463 --> 00:11:39,499 since that pigeon flew into our fan. 270 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,234 I brought this from home. 271 00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:43,370 I got it on my third Carnival Cruise. 272 00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:45,438 Oh, let her have it! 273 00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:47,040 Girl's going on a third date. 274 00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:50,277 Ooh, that's a gay first date. 275 00:11:50,310 --> 00:11:53,080 My first date was a Hall and Oates concert. 276 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:54,982 Yes, I'm old. 277 00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:56,416 Welcome, everyone! 278 00:11:56,449 --> 00:11:59,286 Let's get started. It's time to get sexy! 279 00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:01,488 Yep, according to my "Hustler" watch, 280 00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:04,057 it's 11:69. 281 00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:05,492 Can't be right. Feels earlier. 282 00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,929 Hey, girls. Oh. 283 00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:10,097 I was screaming at you 284 00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:11,932 for three blocks to wait up. 285 00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:16,269 But then sidewalk Caroline turned out to be a lamppost. 286 00:12:16,303 --> 00:12:18,038 Sophie, what are you doing here? 287 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:20,941 Well, I saw the card on the board in the diner, 288 00:12:20,974 --> 00:12:23,877 and I wanted to spice up Oleg and my sex life. 289 00:12:23,911 --> 00:12:25,445 Yeah, I mean, we haven't done it in front of 290 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:28,148 The Today Show window in weeks. 291 00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:29,549 I can't believe they didn't 292 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,986 cut away when Matt Lauer threw up. 293 00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:34,287 Last time I did it, you could 294 00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:36,556 still bring cocaine in your carry-on. 295 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,326 In this class, we are going to go deep 296 00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:41,561 and unleash our sexual goddesses. 297 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,931 Mine got me kicked out of the army. 298 00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:46,299 They asked; I told. 299 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:48,535 Let's dive in! 300 00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:50,971 Everybody get behind your chairs. 301 00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:52,806 I'm gonna show you the routine and then I'll break it down. 302 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:54,141 I'm so excited. 303 00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:55,508 I'm about to lose control 304 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:57,244 and I think I like it! 305 00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:01,414 It's not even my birthday 306 00:13:01,448 --> 00:13:03,416 But he want to lick the icing off 307 00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:07,287 I know you want it in the worst way 308 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:09,289 Can't wait to blow my candles out 309 00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:12,860 He want that cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake 310 00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:16,263 It's not even my birthday but-- 311 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,364 You know what? 312 00:13:17,397 --> 00:13:18,498 I don't need to have sex. 313 00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:21,234 I'll just play golf with you. 314 00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:24,872 Uh, I play golf to get away from my wife. 315 00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:26,273 Well, I'm exhausted. 316 00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:29,877 I need a nap. 317 00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:33,046 After I dance is when we usually lose most of the class. 318 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,415 Now, before I teach you the actual moves, 319 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:36,884 I want you to just feel your body 320 00:13:36,917 --> 00:13:38,385 and let it go. 321 00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:39,286 Who wants to give it a shot? 322 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,154 Oh, I do! I do! 323 00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:44,491 I want to put the "ass" in "class." 324 00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:46,159 Sophie, if I wanted to see your ass, 325 00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:48,495 I'd get up early and watch The Today Show. 326 00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:52,966 Baby, baby, baby 327 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,602 It's not even my birthday 328 00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:58,638 But he want to lick the icing off 329 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:01,875 I know you want it in the worst way 330 00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:05,913 Can't wait to blow my candles out 331 00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,080 I'm stuck, but you know what? 332 00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:08,515 I swear to God, I can make it work. 333 00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,951 It's not even my birthday 334 00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:13,420 But he want to lick the icing off 335 00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:16,289 I'm, uh, scared to ask this, 336 00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:17,524 but who's next? 337 00:14:17,557 --> 00:14:19,226 Is it okay if I try? 338 00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:22,329 That was probably the only act I could follow. 339 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,164 Go, girl! 340 00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,202 Baby, baby, baby 341 00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:31,271 It's not even my birthday 342 00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:35,008 But he want to lick the icing off 343 00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:38,211 I know you want it in the worst way 344 00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:40,147 Can't wait to blow my candles out 345 00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:43,150 He want that cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake 346 00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:46,119 It's not even my birthday 347 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:54,161 I didn't think these pants came with a boner. 348 00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:56,029 I don't know where that came from. 349 00:14:56,063 --> 00:14:58,298 You know how they say the rhythm is gonna get you? 350 00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:00,033 It got me! 351 00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,435 Well, I gotta go. 352 00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:04,104 It's ass past two. 353 00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:07,007 Well, your ass isn't getting past me. 354 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:08,175 Ooh, now that I can dance, 355 00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,410 I'm sassy too. 356 00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:14,614 Let's tease. And tease. 357 00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:16,950 Did I do that? Did I do that? 358 00:15:16,984 --> 00:15:18,551 And tease. And tease. 359 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,620 I did do that. I did do that. 360 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:22,622 And pump. And grind. 361 00:15:22,655 --> 00:15:24,224 And pump. And grind. 362 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,525 Wink. 363 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:28,228 That's how I got to this country. 364 00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:31,498 Except I was also rowing. 365 00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,267 Why aren't you participating? 366 00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,136 Like I told that guy in sweatpants last week, 367 00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:37,637 you can't just sit here and watch. 368 00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,439 Well, unlike that guy, 369 00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:42,242 my days of sexy moves are behind me. 370 00:15:42,275 --> 00:15:44,311 From now on, the only balls I'll be smacking 371 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:47,247 are on the golf course. 372 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,482 You're really gonna give up on who you are 373 00:15:49,516 --> 00:15:50,550 because of Randy? 374 00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,019 She went through a breakup, 375 00:15:52,052 --> 00:15:53,253 and she swore off sex, 376 00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,188 and I'm worried maybe deodorant. 377 00:15:55,222 --> 00:15:57,524 Oh, yeah, that's 378 00:15:57,557 --> 00:16:01,728 probably my bag of dirty diapers in my purse. 379 00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:05,032 I'm putting them in my baby book. 380 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:07,100 This is what this class is all about. 381 00:16:07,134 --> 00:16:09,036 Taking all that pain and anger 382 00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:10,403 and making it sexy. 383 00:16:10,437 --> 00:16:12,739 I thought this was about making my booty clap. 384 00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:15,242 We'll get there, Gavin. 385 00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:18,745 So tell me about this guy, Randy. 386 00:16:18,778 --> 00:16:20,213 Uh, there's nothing to say. 387 00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:21,214 It's not about him. 388 00:16:21,248 --> 00:16:22,449 Are you sure? 389 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:23,350 Did he 390 00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:25,152 bring you down low? 391 00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:28,155 Oh, sure he did. Real low. 392 00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:29,122 Shake you up? 393 00:16:29,156 --> 00:16:30,423 All shook up. 394 00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:34,227 Hey, get your ass out of my face, razor hips. 395 00:16:34,261 --> 00:16:35,262 Did he 396 00:16:35,295 --> 00:16:36,429 spin you around 397 00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,798 and slide right out of your life? 398 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,367 Like a greasy McNugget! 399 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:41,368 Show me that nugget. 400 00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:42,435 I would, but I can't 401 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:44,171 take these pants off. 402 00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:45,672 Max, come on. 403 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:48,541 You can't let one bad experience ruin everything. 404 00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:51,444 Otherwise, I'd never use our bath mat again. 405 00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:53,346 It's hot for no reason. 406 00:16:53,380 --> 00:16:56,216 Yeah, I'm double parked! Come on, dance already! 407 00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:59,752 Fine! If it will get me out of here. 408 00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:05,358 It's not even my birthday 409 00:17:05,392 --> 00:17:06,793 But he want to lick the icing off 410 00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:08,528 That's right, get it out there! 411 00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:10,797 Bump, bump! Grind, grind! 412 00:17:10,830 --> 00:17:14,101 Duck, duck, goose! Wink! 413 00:17:14,134 --> 00:17:16,269 Cake, cake, cake, cake, cake 414 00:17:16,303 --> 00:17:18,538 Cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake 415 00:17:18,571 --> 00:17:22,709 Ooh, yeah, bounce, baby, bounce! 416 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:26,113 God, this is so real! 417 00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:29,249 I know you want it in the worst way 418 00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:33,586 Okay! Fine! 419 00:17:33,620 --> 00:17:35,822 Maybe I am shut down 'cause of Randy. 420 00:17:35,855 --> 00:17:39,692 See, you needed to get that out. Do you feel better? 421 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:42,795 No, I got a splinter in my face. 422 00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:44,831 Well, if you'll excuse me, 423 00:17:44,864 --> 00:17:47,834 I have a golf lesson to get to. 424 00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:50,170 Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, Max out. 425 00:17:52,372 --> 00:17:53,540 She won't tell anyone 426 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,508 she learned those moves here, will she? 427 00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:57,144 I was the best, right? 428 00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:59,546 Because it matters to me. 429 00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,883 Hide your husbands. Hide your wives. 430 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:05,485 Max is back. 431 00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,187 I'm out of retirement 432 00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:10,290 and these pants, as soon as I can get them off. 433 00:18:10,323 --> 00:18:14,394 Oh, my God, you slept with Han? 434 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,762 Let me find that machete you gave me 435 00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,630 in case this ever happened. 436 00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:20,167 No, she slept with our golf pro. 437 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:24,437 Once again, I was left holding my putter. 438 00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:26,439 Yep, I'm back, and I have the grass stains 439 00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:27,907 on my head to prove it. 440 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,843 See? That class helped everyone. 441 00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:32,712 Except Sophie-- by the time I left, 442 00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:36,183 she had three more chairs on her. 443 00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:38,151 Hey, everybody! 444 00:18:40,853 --> 00:18:43,256 Brace yourself. 445 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:46,759 Sophie got sexified. 446 00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:52,899 Baby, baby, baby 447 00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:55,402 It's not even my birthday 448 00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:57,837 But he want to lick the icing off 449 00:18:57,870 --> 00:19:00,540 I know you want it in the worst way 450 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:03,376 Can't wait to blow my candles out 451 00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:07,414 He want that cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake 452 00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,849 Cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake 453 00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:12,252 Oh, my God. 454 00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:14,921 Between those moves and that sexy neck brace, 455 00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:17,857 it's too much for me to take. 456 00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:20,527 This is what I get for telling that genie 457 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,530 I wanted to live to be 100. 458 00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:26,733 Cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake 459 00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:29,202 Cake, cake, cake 460 00:19:29,236 --> 00:19:31,304 It's not even my birthday 461 00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:33,473 But he want to lick the icing off 462 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,375 Sophie... 463 00:19:35,408 --> 00:19:37,910 could I see you in the walk-in freezer? 464 00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:41,214 And if you don't mind, could you add a limp? 465 00:19:41,248 --> 00:19:46,586 Cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake, cake 466 00:19:46,619 --> 00:19:48,388 It's not even my birthday 467 00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:51,858 You know what the sexiest thing about it is? 468 00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:54,294 The limp is real. 469 00:19:58,030 --> 00:19:59,399 Hey, buddy. 470 00:19:59,432 --> 00:20:00,333 -Hey. -What's going on, man? 471 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:03,503 Bobby! 472 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:04,937 Hey, I was just on my lunch break, 473 00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:08,675 thought I'd stop by and almost see you. 474 00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,477 Well, it was nice dating you. 475 00:20:10,510 --> 00:20:12,545 This is my uniform. I know, it's... 476 00:20:12,579 --> 00:20:14,747 Hot. Really, really hot. 477 00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:18,418 You look like a sexy pencil. 478 00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:20,387 But I bought all this really sexy, 479 00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:23,490 very zipper-heavy underwear to wear on our third date. 480 00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:25,458 Why would I see your underwear on our third date? 481 00:20:25,492 --> 00:20:27,427 Doesn't that happen on the tenth? 482 00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:29,429 That's what I said! 483 00:20:29,462 --> 00:20:32,832 You people are animals! 484 00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:35,001 But what was all that talk about 485 00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:37,270 our date being big and exotic? 486 00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:39,339 I was gonna take you to this Moroccan place. 487 00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:42,709 They don't have chairs. We sit on pillows. 488 00:20:42,742 --> 00:20:45,545 That is exotic. 489 00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,714 You might want to hold off on the sex. 490 00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:48,948 You two might be related.